大人になった今じゃ怖いものばっか増えた
人の視線なんかは その最たる例だ
比べたがりの僕ら それで誰が得するんだ
他人のああだこうだは 関係ないなって
拗らせた頭では 理解も出来ねぇ
"自分"らしく 生きたいだけなのにね
どうにも隣の芝生が青すぎて嫌だ
この病状は一生重症だ きっと
僕らは"自分"にすらなりきれんまんま くたばっていくのだ
「みんな違って みんないい」じゃ 騙されねぇぞ
もっと明確な 結果をくれよ僕が僕を
認められるような
十八頃の僕らそれなりに夢があった
大人になった今じゃその夢もただの枷だ
毛ほどの自尊心は可燃物として捨てた
黒い煙が染みたその目には悔し涙
終わりの見えない 問答だってした
寝付けない朝四時は 余計にひでぇ
「"自分らしさ"って一体全体どんなんだったっけ」
『端からそんなものありゃしねぇんだって、馬鹿』
この劣等感は一生もんだ きっと
対比して蔑んでやっと保てる"自我"を殺したい
誰かが言った 「自信は持たなきゃ」
「考えすぎだ」 あぁ、もう 黙ってて
宗教じみた 激励なんて 死ぬほど惨めだ
才能 努力 年齢 収入 再生数
結婚 子宝 容姿の美醜 フォロワー数
流行 ブランド 聴く音楽 経験人数
最終的に「死にてぇ」の比較症候群
"自分"らしく生きたいだけなのにね
どうにも隣の芝生が青すぎて嫌だ
この病状は一生重症だ きっと
とはいえ"自分"にすらなりきれんまんま 死にたくもねぇしな
「どうしようもない 人間なりに
生きていたい」と そう 思えれば
もうちょっとだけ 僕は僕を
愛せるかな 『さぁね』
こんな歌の中に 答えはないぜ だって
"自分"を決定付ける それは君の役目だから
otona ni natta ima ja kowai mono bakka fueta
hito no shisen nanka wa sono saitaru rei da
kurabetagari no bokura sore de dare ga tokusuru nda
tanin no aa da kou da wa kankeinai na tte
kojiraseta atama de wa rikai mo dekinee
"jibun" rashiku ikitai dake na no ni ne
dounimo tonari no shibafu ga aosugite iya da
kono byoujou wa isshou juushou da kitto
bokura wa "jibun" ni sura narikiren manma kutabatte iku no da
"minna chigatte minna ii" ja damasarenee zo
motto meikaku na kekka o kure yo boku ga boku o
mitomerareru you na
juuhachigoro no bokura sorenari ni yume ga atta
otona ni natta ima ja sono yume mo tada no kase da
kehodo no jisonshin wa kanenbutsu to shite suteta
kuroi kemuri ga shimita sono me ni wa kuyashi namida
owari no mienai mondou datte shita
netsukenai asa yoji wa yokei ni hidee
" "jibunrashisa" tte ittaizentai donna ndattakke"
"hana kara sonna mono arya shinee nda tte, baka"
kono rettoukan wa isshou mon da kitto
taihi shite sagesunde yatto tamoteru "jiga" o koroshitai
dareka ga itta "jishin wa motanakya"
"kangaesugi da" aa, mou damattete
shuukyou jimita gekirei nante shinu hodo mijime da
sainou doryoku nenrei shuunyuu saiseisuu
kekkon kodakara youshi no bishuu forowaa suu
ryuukou burando kiku ongaku keiken ninzu
saishuuteki ni "shinitee" no hikaku shoukougun
"jibun" rashiku ikitai dake na no ni ne
dounimo tonari no shibafu ga aosugite iya da
kono byoujou wa isshou juushou da kitto
to wa ie "jibun" ni sura narikiren manma shinitaku mo nee shi na
"doushiyou mo nai ningen nari ni
ikite itai" to sou omoereba
mou chotto dake boku wa boku o
aiseru kana "saa ne"
konna uta no naka ni kotae wa nai ze datte
"jibun" o kettei tsukeru sore wa kimi no yakume dakara
But now that we're adults,such things had steadily piled up.
Receiving a glance from someone else is one prime example.
We kept comparing ourselves to each other; but really, who will benefit from that?
Other people's “this and that” doesn't concern me.
I can't comprehend a thing with this aching head of mine.
I just want to live the way I want for myself, but the grass is always much greener on the other side, and I hate it so much.
This condition will surely stay severe for the rest of my life. We are the only ones who can decide to completely become "ourselves" and kick the bucket as is.
You won't fool me by saying “Everyone is different and that's fine.”
Give me a clearer outcome so that I can really accept myself.
We carried dreams that fitted our 18-year-old selves
Now that we're adults, those dreams are nothing more than a shackle
Whatever self-worth we have left became combustible and got discarded away
Black smoke penetrated the eyes riddled with frustrated tears
I even did an endless Q and A session on one of
those 4 A.M.s where I can't fall asleep 'cause they're just way too much to handle
“What in the world is [individuality] in the first place?” "There's no such thing as that from the start, idiot."
This inferiority complex will last for a lifetime for sure. I want to kill this “ego” I've been comparing, despising, but narrowly holding onto.
Someone said, “You need to have more confidence.” “You're thinking too much.” Ah, really, just shut up already.
These encouragements sounding a lot like religion are so pitiable I want to die.
We pathologically compare our talent, effort, age, income, total number of views,
marriage, the treasure that is children, personal appearance, the number of followers,
fads, brands, the music we listen to, the number of people we've slept with,
and finally, how much we "wanna die!"
Even though I want to live the way I like, the grass is always much greener on the other side, and I hate it so much.
This condition will surely stay severe for the rest of my life. Nonetheless, if I don't ever become true to myself, I won't go thinking that I want to die, right?
“I want to live like a hopeless human being.”
If I think that way,
will I be able to love myself
even just a little bit? “Now then—”
There's no answer to be found in this kind of song
Because it's your own duty to determine “who you are”.